Hello friends,

A week and a half ago, we lost our Mum, last Friday, we laid her to rest. Even writing those words feels surreal.

There are moments when it feels real, and moments when my mind still expects to pick up the phone every day to check in, hear her voice, or tell her about something that happened during the day.

Loss is a strange thing, it doesn’t arrive at a certain time or ask permission.

It changes the shape of your world in a second and then quietly asks you to learn how to live within a landscape that no longer looks the same.

Over the past week and a half, I’ve learned that grief isn’t one feeling, it's a multitude of feelings and emotions.

It’s love.

It’s sadness.

It’s gratitude.

It’s exhaustion.

It’s not being able to eat.

It’s an upset digestive system.

It’s relief that someone is no longer suffering.

It’s remembering and or recalling.

It's guilt.

It's doubt.

It’s forgetting for a moment and then remembering all over again, sometimes all within the same hour.

I’ve also learned there is no “right” way to grieve, some moments I cry, some moments I laugh at a memory Mum would find funny, some moments I feel completely at peace, and some moments I feel physically sick.

I’ve stopped trying to make sense of it all and instead, I’m allowing it to move through me in whatever way it needs to.

One thing I know for certain is this:

The depth of our grief often reflects the depth of our love, and what a privilege it is to have loved someone so deeply that their physical absence can be felt so profoundly.

As difficult as this chapter is, I find comfort in knowing that love doesn’t end when a life does, I can feel my Mums presence everywhere), the conversations may stop in a physical way, yet I still speak to her every day, knowing she can hear me.

The physical presence may be gone, but the love remains.

It lives in our memories, in our stories, in our laughter, in the lessons they taught us, and in the parts of them that became part of us.

For those navigating loss right now, whether recent or many years ago, please know there is no timeline, no perfect way to do this, no destination where grief magically disappears.

What I do know is there is simply one day at a time, one breath at a time, one memory at a time and that somehow over time, we learn to carry both the love and the loss together.

Mum, thank you for being my greatest teacher.

For your love, for your strength, for your lessons, for every memory and most importantly for shaping me into the soul-led woman I am today.

You will forever be part of who I am, and for the space I hold for others.

With love,

Melissa

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